03. what a week

GOSH.

Hi there,

How have you been? My week has been a bit like the Hamburg weather – dark and gloomy with an occasional ray or two of sunshine. I have just spent an hour and a half trying to write this newsletter but I have way too many things to write about and it’s taken me a bit to come up with the story I would like to tell you today.

This week has been more or less a bust. Nothing felt satisfying. It’s like when you go for an open-air movie night with your friends and it rains the entire time. You dress like it’s summer and then it gets so chilly that by the time you are on the train back home, your thin jacket is damp, sticking to your skin and doing a terrible job of keeping you warm.

Weeks like this sometimes feel unending. And I wish I could tell you an inspiring anecdote of how I got out of feeling overwhelmed at home, annoyed with friends and slighted at work, coming out of it as a stronger and better human being.

But I actually didn’t.

I spent my Sunday reading in bed under my blanket, skipped boxing class, cooked myself some omelette curry and rice and got down to writing this newsletter. I wrote 5 drafts about everything from growing older, dating in my 20s to adult friendships, hated all of it and deleted everything.

This is the newsletter you get. In all of my I-had-a-bad-fucking-week-glory.

I am currently in recovery through rest and relaxation. I have been going through life at such a breakneck speed in the last few weeks that I forgot that my brain needed a break – to calm down, to cool off and to come back feeling like myself again. I didn’t realise this till I sat down to write to you.

Does this happen to you as well? Do you forget to sit down, read a book, drink a beverage slowly, savour it, take hours in the kitchen to cook a meal from your childhood that fills your heart, and then eat it in small bites? And then when you do it, does it make you tremble with joy? Does it make you take deep breaths and close your eyes and sigh out loud?

If you forget your peace sometimes, come here. Sit down. Join me.

Yes, tomorrow will be different than last week. Tomorrow your brain will work slower than usual. It will tell you to call in sick. It will ask you to skip your workout. Cancel meeting a friend. Order in takeout. It will guilt you into believing you are doing a terrible job of being a good, responsible adult.

But you know that’s a lie. We are allowed to slow down.

When I was young, my dad would spend most of his Sunday at the ‘thek’, a space where all the uncles in our apartment complex gathered together. They just laughed and told stories with a side of chai. They all worked long days, didn’t have work-life balance in their vocabulary and were often stressed with so many other things but Sundays at the thek were their sanctuary.

So, find your thek. Take that breath. Push that guilt far back down in your tummy. Drink water and get some sleep.

I will see you right here next week. And hopefully, be happier.

Until next time looking for my own little sanctuary,

Sanj 🫨

PS, Story Time:

On Friday, the rains were crazy in Hamburg. We arrived at the Open Air Movie venue when it slowed down for like 10 minutes. We had bought the physical tickets a month back. But, owing to all the wildness of the week, I had forgotten them at home. I tell the person at the counter that we would like two tickets. We had actually bought them a month before but left them at home.

They say, “Please go in. I would feel bad if I made you buy tickets again.” 

They said it in German and I didn’t fully understand till Alex translated.

I walked in feeling so grateful. It was a lil ray of sunshine at the end of my dark and dreary week. And even though we watched the whole movie holding umbrellas over our heads, I would say it was almost worth it.